The Lie of the Child Free Life

Time magazine recently ran an article entitled "The Child Free Life: When having it all means not having children." There are several things that I could rant about with this article but I will hold back....some.

The article talks about the idea of having it all is not having children. That there are couples out there who find their life much more fulfilling without having children. I have lived the single life and also the married with children life and I can say hands down, 100 percent that I have never been more fulfilled in life than when I am with my wife and son. In no way am I saying that women who cannot conceive, who do not get married, or choose another vocation( ie religious life..etc) are any less of a woman than ones who can bear a child. But it is how a woman's body is made- to carry another person, to give life, to have children.

We live in a culture which is focused on "I" so much. "I want...""I need..." "I deserve..." Not a culture of "I'll give..." "Do I really need that?" "I'll sacrifice..." The reality for me is that if I gave into every want in my life I would be leading a pretty boring life. I think sometimes we (myself included) get overwhelmed by the idea of children because of the enormous responsibility that comes with them. We can be overcome with the responsibilities and fears that come with children or we can live in the truth that this other human being is helping me be holy! I get to look into the eyes of my son and see my Maker and that is a truly humbling gift I do not deserve.

To close I share with you the words of comedian Jim Gaffigan who says it better than any of us. 

"I watch the faces of single people in their twenties after I bring up that I ‘have children.’ I imagine them taking a small step backward as if to avoid contagion, with a look of ‘Sorry to hear that’ on their face. Like I naively volunteered to contract leprosy, forever quarantining myself from the world of having fun by having children.  Well, why not? I guess the reasons against having more children always seem uninspiring and superficial. What exactly am I missing out on? Money? A few more hours of sleep? A more peaceful meal? More hair? These are nothing compared to what I get from these five monsters who rule my life. I believe each of my five children has made me a better man. So I figure I only need another thirty-four kids to be a pretty decent guy. Each one of them has been a pump of light into my shriveled black heart. I would trade money, sleep, or hair for a smile from one of my children in a heartbeat. Well, it depends on how much hair."

Clap, Clap, Clap Your Hands

My wife and I have a son named Dominic who recently turned 9 months old on Tuesday. Dominic is an amazing child and all credit goes to his mother. Dominic has been crawling, eating solid foods, and pulling up on everything. Although, the greatest trick he learned recently has been how to clap. My wife has been determined to teach him how to clap. So she came up with a jingle of her own "clap, clap, clap your hands, clap your hands to the beat." Over and over and over we sang this jingle and moved his hands back and forth showing him how to clap. We were desperately hoping that he would understand and start clapping, and to our great surprise two days ago he started clapping. We were elated and so excited! We couldn't contain our excitement. Like any good parent we made him clap over and over and over until he became tired of it.

I know what you are thinking, where is this going Joey?  Let me tell you. My son's clapping is like the spiritual life. Say what? Yup I realized driving to work this morning that my son learning to clap is probably similar to what God does with us! He shows himself to us again and again, yet we don't really get it. He taught us how to pray and yet we don't always do it. But just like one day it clicked for my son with clapping, I see it time and time again in youth ministry that the spiritual life will click with one person. Then they can't contain themselves and continue to use these skills.

Hopefully this ending story makes you chuckle. Last night my son woke up at 4am crying because of teething, tired, etc. I was rocking him in the chair in the living room and he was not having it! All of a sudden he rolled over on his back, looked at me in the face, and starting clapping and smiling. Hopefully we allow God to show us the way in our life, and have the same zeal my child had this morning at 4am! Allow God through prayer time, sacraments, and christian fellowship to show us the way for our lives. And pray for my 4am zealous child!

The Elect

I am not always the most optimistic of people in life. I often times find the glass half empty instead of half full, but recently I experienced an event where my glass and the glass of those around me was overflowing.

I have the amazing opportunity to journey to the Easter Vigil with a young man who has not yet been baptized. This month in the Diocese of Dallas was the "Right of Election" a time that catechumens(non baptized) are acknowledged before their own Church and later that day in front of Bishop for their preparation towards entering the Church. 

What an experience it was to be next to this young man when he stood before the Bishop at the Cathedral. He was beaming with excitement and joy throughout the entire process. I often take being baptized as a baby for granted. Most things I grew up with in the Church are foreign to these Catechumens. It makes me sit back and reflect upon the gift of faith. It makes me love my faith even more. 

Although the journey for this young man who was elected into the Church on Sunday has just begun, we pray that the good work that began in him and the good work that is happening in us continues in all our lives. For now we keep on waiting with joyful expectation as we journey through the desert with Christ, towards the light of the Resurrection at Easter. 

What Is Lent Really About?

I love my job as a youth minister! I especially love the insights that teens give me on different subjects because teenagers are so real and don't hold back anything or any thought! I recently had a conversation with some teens about Lent and what it really means.

While talking about Lent, one teen commented and said, "Well I guess it is that time of year for me to give up my chocolate." This comment caught me off guard at first. I thought to myself surely these teens don't think that Lent is simply about giving up chocolate! 

The more I talked with other teens the more I realized, that is exactly what they think Lent is about. All of them talked about how Lent is the time where you give up things that you like to eat or do, but didn't know anything about the season.

Thank goodness for the Church which tells us what Lent is truly about. Prayer, Fasting, and Almsgiving. 

Prayer- 1 Thessalonians 5:17 says, "pray without ceasing." We see Jesus in the Gospel praying all the time. He would go to a remote place and pray. We see in Jesus a man who was praying so intently before he was going to give us his life for all us that he sweat blood! This inspires me this Lent to step up my prayer. Lent is about spending more time in prayer centering ourselves on Christ and surrendering our lives to him. If you don't have a regular prayer life take this Lent to start one. I recently did a P90X workout, which helps you to strengthen your body. 

This Lent I encourage to do P40X(Prayer for 40 days). Strengthen your spiritual lives. Maybe you dont know where to start? Start by setting aside a time each day to pray. Read Scripture, journal, pray the Rosary, go to Mass, or spend time in silence. The important thing, in the words of Nike, is to "Just Do It," - go out and pray.

Fasting- We take our lead once again from Christ. He entered into the desert for 40 days and fasted. Fasting not only helps us become more self disciplined, but also gives us self control. Fasting is always a tough thing for us, but isn't it so comforting that around the world on Ash Wednesday and Good Friday in Lent I am joined by over 1 billion other Catholics fasting! Image if we all take this opportunity to allow this fasting to strengthen us and help us build our spiritual lives. The same is true from abstaining from meats on Friday. Lets take the opportunity to let these things transform us for the better. So there is nothing bad about giving up chocolate, just make sure that this is something that is going to draw you closer to Christ and not some mindless choice you do every year. 

Almsgiving- I believe we forget about this aspect of Lent the most! I know the last thing that you want to hear is that you have to give more money out of your pocket! Well there is good news and bad news here. Yes, we do need to give financially to the Church, it is one of the precepts of the Church, (if you dont know the 5 precepts, stop and look them up now!) but we can also give in our time that we can donate to the Church. As my mom always says, "there is one thing that we can't get back in life and that is our time." The great news is that if there is one place that I would love to spend my time it is for the Church. Another great thing to do during Lent is to donate your skills to the Church. The Church is always in need of help so if you have a skill set offer it to the Church!

The great thing about these three aspects of Lent is that these things do not have to stop at the end of Lent. This is a way we can live and unite our lives to Christ every day. Now go be holy. Happy Lent!

Does Your Baby Have A Twitter?

My wife is not very surprised when I do absolutely crazy things in my life. I have always lived on the edge and that is one of the reasons she loves me. Since the birth of our first child, Dominic Peter Scancella 8 lbs. 11 ounces born on November 6th 2012, otherwise known as "Election Day" things have definitely changed. Let me first say, they have changed for the better, there are definitely challenging times, but I would not trade my son for the world! I love him with all my heart.

I think my wife realized just how crazy I was when I told her about a week before the birth that I thought it would be cool to live tweet the birth of our first child. Her response was laughing and shaking her head at me. When the time came the birth was live tweeted and I do have to say, went awesome! Here are a few gems from the birth:

You now see what my wife has to put up with on a daily basis. She is a saint and I take credit for making her one through my personality!

The other thing that my wife just shook her had at is when I told her that I made a twitter for our one month old son. All judging aside. This has been our way to share the joy our child brings to us everyday. I know if I could speak baby talk my son would be saying the same things that I am tweeting! We can use media for good to build up one another, to bring joy, or we can tear down one another with media. I hope on this day we all use media for good! So to close out this blog here are a few gems from my son on twitter. Follow him at @babydominicpete

Wishing, and hoping, and thinking, and praying!

 I heard this Dusty Springfield song this morning called,"Wishing & Hoping", which starts off with the lyrics, "Wishing and hoping and thinking and praying." I was shocked at how the first line of that song struck me to the core. Why you may ask.....well let me tell you.

Wishing~ As kids we wish upon shooting stars, and we make many birthday wishes, but what happens when we make it to adulthood? I know for a good part of my adulthood I stopped wishing and did more doing. As a a kid you believe that miracles can happen to you and somehow as we grow up we lose a lot of belief that miracles can happen. Take a moment to be a kid again. I don't mean close your eyes and wish for a pony, but I do mean believe in the fact that we can have dreams and they do come true! Case and point I married the love of my life and we are about to have our first child!

Hoping~ My wife will tell you, I am not a very hopeful person all the time. She says the glass is half full and I say half empty. She says the sun will come up tomorrow(or maybe that was Annie) and I say no it will rain on our parade forever. But, one line of Scripture changed my life. Romans 5:5, "...Hope does not disappoint, because the love of God has been poured out into our hearts through the holy Spirit that has been given to us." It does not disappoint! God does not disappoint! It may not turn out the way we thought, but we all must have is hope!

Thinking~ I think way too much! I know a lot of us do, but I really do. When my wife felt her first braxton-hix contraction, I freaked out! I was thinking at 100 mph. I was packing the bag, pulling up the car....heck I was ready to steal some older persons wheelchair plop my wife into it and go to the hospital, and that is why I shouldn't think. Well maybe that is overdoing it but that is why I should think about things that matter and not waste all my time thinking about things that I can't change!

Praying~ I talk a lot about prayer and in my job I am constantly telling people to pray, but how often do I stop and actually pray? The truth- not as often as I should! I should take some of my own advice and realize that you should never talk more about Jesus than you do to Jesus!

All that said I really wish, hope, think, and pray that our baby comes into the world very soon! Please join me in doing the same.

John Paul II

In 1995 I was 10 years old, and I remember to this day watching the Holy Father on TV say Mass at Giant Stadium in New Jersey. I thought it was cool on many levels. Not only was the Pope in the visiting the best state, New Jersey, but he was celebrating Mass in a PACKED FOOTBALL STADIUM! What an amazing man Blessed John Paul II was! I knew someone that attend that Mass at Giant stadium who sat at the very top in the nosebleed section. That person told me that although they sat at the furtherest point from the Holy Father they said they felt like they knew him, they felt like he was their best friend. He just had that type of personality.

October 22nd was the Feast day of Blessed John Paul II. Not only was he an inspiration to me in youth ministry, he is an inspiration to me and many others as a man of God. So let us all ask for the intercession of Blessed John Paul II!